To full time or not to full time?!

Yesterday was kind of a blah day. 

We left the city and bought our country house but have quickly realized we want to be out further, on more land. 2 acres just isn't cutting it. We kind of came up with this 5 year plan - buy 20 acres, clear it ourselves, work on building a home on it. Doing as much of the work as we can ourselves so we come out with a small mortgage. 

But the first step is buying the land and we need more income for that. Hubby works full time, we do well but there definitely isn't enough to add on another big loan to our single income. So the bank folks say if I can make 600 a month and show steady work for 6 months to a year we should have absolutely no issues buying property. Fine. I was wanting to start back to working anyway, get some experience - it's been 14 years since I've worked! Well, it's been 2 months since we decided this and I've put in at least 20 applications and I've only got one call - just to tell me I wasn't experienced enough for the position (cashier). Seriously?! Ugh. I know I'm starting at the bottom like a high school kid, I'm not applying for management positions!  I just can't seem to get a single interview! It's frustrating and downing. Hubby can get me on at his work in a different dept., but the position is full time, working 4 10's, 4am to 2pm and he would have to switch from days to swing for us to do that. The perk is that it pays almost double minimum wage, has great benefits and it's only 4 days a week. Instead of looking for land to build a home on we could in theory look at some of the homes on 20 acres that were out of our budget before because they would no longer be out of our budget, or we could stick with the plan and use the extra funds to do other things like invest in a camper and a boat, we've always wanted both! But, full time! That's a lot of time away from the kids, I'd be working mornings so missing all the school events. That part makes me question if I want to do it. I can't do that until after October anyway, our oldest has to be driving on his own first. I won't be able to get him from school in the afternoons and he'll need to drive himself to and from work. But I'm hoping I'll just get a call from someone! I'd prefer just a part time, evening job, close to home.

I keep telling myself what happens is what is meant to happen. 

But the struggle is there and I hate that I can't seem to get even 1 interview on my own.

So feeling down, I didn't do well yesterday. I ate more than I should have and didn't get much exercise in. I did walk/jog for a mile, which was only about 10 minutes, my fitbit didn't even pick that up. Today I'm trying to perk myself back up! I said I'd get in a 50 minute workout, I got in 42 minutes and then my 2 yr old got a paper cut and had a meltdown and that was over. My other 2 year old has diarrhea and well, let's just say, accidents have left me cleaning a lot today.  

42 minutes isn't terrible, burned almost 450 calories! So far eating has been good. I had half a coffee and an atkins bar. Lunch soon... not sure what to do, thinking a salad with some left over hard boiled eggs from yesterday and maybe some blue cheese and pepperoni. We're going to have sliced pork tonight, I need to go find a keto bbq sauce recipe and get that made. Then I am going to sneak out later and grab canning supplies, we are getting SO many tomatoes, way more than we can eat so it's time to make salsa and pasta sauce!